Wow, 7 weeks has passed since my last brain dump. Alot has happened. So much so that I don't know where to begin. The preparations for the baby have encroached my serious play time. 3 trips to Babies'R'Us leaves me wondering how the hell my folks were able to raise me without registries, nook brushes, breast pump liners, and jogging strollers. It is just another example of the effort we will expend in the hopes of some long term convenience. (Microsoft has been manipulating modern society for over 10 years with the same veiled approach.) My soccer exploits have been pheripheral to my racing. Yet, I can't help but feel some satisfaction in my play and that of the team. Despite being mentally and sometimes physically exhausted for the sunday matches, I've been able to summon energy from god knows where. A glimpse of what's to come, a preparation of sorts for parenthood. Transistioning my brain waves out of the cockpit an onto the pitch has been challenging, but a skill I'm just beginning to hone. No longer am I driving to the match thinking about the previous evenings typical happenstance. I am beginning to see to some real smart play from my teammates, a direct result of patience, movement, communication and wise decision making. Attributes in some way I hope is a result of my efforts on the Thursday kick-arounds. I am in no means taking credit for that, because I feed on it more than anybody else. It's starting to wake up processes that have been dead since college. Despite the influx of recreational activities (organized play), my work landscape is beginning to change. There are opportunities afoot, but I haven't been able to fully grasp the levity of my pending choices, something I must do soon. The resounding theme, atleast those that have inhabited my brain, has been the impending retirement of my racing activities. I would love to encapsulate my thoughts/emotions in this blog, but I believe that it's much too large an animal to bring down with a pellet gun. For posterity sake, let's just say that my last 3 outings were enjoyable which allowed me to really take in the inputs, the interactions, seat-of-the-pants feeling. What racers do is really amazing, and I am glad (lucky) to count myself as one of the brethren. In some small way I can see through their eyes, because I've been there. Words can never really describe it, but someday, I want to attempt it, even if feebly.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
Sounds like transition is afoot in all areas of your life. It's not uncommon for this to occur all at once. Retiring from racing must be difficult on several levels - but think of the history you can share with your child later on. It's going to be fun to take him or her to the racetrack and be able to say 'I used to do that'.
You're the catalyst behind our improved play, that's for sure. You've been teaching us and teaching us, and we're finally putting your lessons into practice. The neat thing is that we're all making each other better players.
I'm confident you'll handle the adjustment to parenthood quite well. For you the baby is pretty abstract and will remain so until he/she pops out into your arms. Wear gloves. Keep wifey happy and comfortable and don't worry about being ready - you will be regardless.
And keep attacking those thoughts, write them down and see what's really going on. Don't worry about bringing them all down at once - impossible. Build one wall at a time.
I am hoping to document my racing exploits, strangely an uncommon feat. I do want to pass down the heritage to my child, quite an opposite approach than what my father did with me. I'm really enjoying the soccer lately, the comraderie has been great and win-lose-draw, we have a real even keel. If I'm the catalyst then you are the facilitator. It all starts and ends with you. Thanks for the baby advise, I'm getting psyched. I am going to take your advice and get my thoughts into either a separate blog or something offline.... thanks again
Post a Comment